Wonky Warbler

I used to like inset days - a good way to get your head in gear for the term ahead. But this year, the two days just gone were about surviving, and for that I lay on the floor at the back of the hall (thank you yoga mat), stood up in the middle of a meeting because I couldn’t sit any more, and hid in my office, stretched out on the sofa, heat pad on full blast, just trying to conserve enough spoons to make it through the day. “Come on body, pull yourself together,” I say (haha, jokes... silly lax collagen). Actually, of course, I don’t give always give it a chance - going to the staff meal yesterday evening, for example, was not my best idea - but our school is such a lovely community that I’m so loathe to miss out on those fun bits, even if having fun isn’t always fun afterwards! I made it, though. I went to every meeting I was supposed to. Yes, I had to sacrifice lunch on day 2 because I was too exhausted and it had been such a mistake on day 1. Yes, I didn’t take in every word...

Putting oneself out in the blogosphere turns out to be harder than it first appears. I hadn’t appreciated the extent that it would push my anxiety buttons, or my perfectionist tendencies, and I haven’t felt that any of my thoughts or experiences were going to be of interest or use to anyone. Who wants to read that, when you have EDS, having fun isn’t always fun? Or that attending an annual events for the first time since my body waged war on itself brings out all sorts of insecurities? How about navigating gut, bladder, hormone, skin, and allergy problems (because yes, they’re all linked to the big fat package of joy you get with faulty collagen)? I could even write about my old friend insomnia (often christened painsomnia)? Would I feel better? Would it help? No, I don’t think so. I could write about the guilt of a mother who can’t take her sons to all the usual summer holiday haunts because there’s just too much walking. That, if I swallowed my pride and just bought a mobility...